Hello, I’m Veronica
The sky is not completely dark at night. Were the sky absolutely dark, one would not be able to see the silhouette of an object against the sky.
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Is comparison the thief of joy?
It’s 3am, the very hour of the day when hospital patients are most likely to pass onto the next world. I am wide awake trying to process the hellish week that I’ve endured.
Yes, I am heavily indebted and have been working myself to the bone, so much so that at the youngish age of 38, I feel like I’m going to be susceptible to the early onset of arthritis. My finger joints are hurting, something like picking up the phone is a cause of pain.
Yes, I have been without my bipolar medication for several days now. I literally have the smallest windows of time to make the prescription a reality.
But the thing that is sucking the already depleted reservoir dry is the god damn comparison.
So I have this friend, let’s call her Miss America. Friendship wise we are going from strength to strength and I literally do not know where I would be without her BUT and here it is, it physically pains me to the point of tears when I look at the beautiful life she has and the gaping hole that I carry around.
To create a meaningful life a sense of community, belonging or purpose is key. Many people find this in their romantic partner, family, vocation or their found community.
My family history has been complicated most likely prior to my conception. This year it has been the absence of my father, HE was the parent that I loved, I am my father’s daughter but since April I have very obviously been on the outs with him.
He has not spoken a word of kindness to me in 7 months and it hurts every day. I tried to reconnect with him in July and suggested 2 different birthday outings but he wasn’t interested, I think it goes without saying that I did not receive any birthday wishes. Xmas is around the corner but last year he canceled on me last minute and of course no present. And I feel foolish that I got him a gift and will most likely continue to this year.
I haven’t even shared this with my psychologist because I pretty much know where it’s going, this is not a healthy relationship for me. It reminds me of dating Colin this year 🙄
Oh there’s so much more to it but already I feel like my inner peace has been restored just by sharing my thoughts with those in the world who are reading.
(more…)
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Manga Me
Graphic art by Sophia
Bunsen burner blue buns,
Geek is sheik,
Eyeing envy,
Furrowing brows,
Shutting up shop
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Selfish
Subjective Evaluation of Relative Significance, Lily McAuliffe – AGWA – Perth, Australia
Photography by SophiaIf I was a fish I would be a selfish,
I look pure but I am all colours,
What you see,
Is where you’re at,
I go where no other fish would dare,
I spread my iridiscent wings and fly,
And the schools will rise,
Because I fed them knowledge
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About Me
The sky is not completely dark at night. Were the sky absolutely dark, one would not be able to see the silhouette of an object against the sky.
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